Just feeling mixed up and confused within myself... thus my decision to begin blogging...
Firstly, the studies front... Still bothered by the Study Loan issue... but it's under processing now, hopefully it gets through in time to meet the deadline and thus settle the financial aspects of my studies. After hearing from everybody, I think I've decided to make this year my final year for my studies... to aim to graduate this year, and so I'll work hard to clear all my subjects and graduate... once I get my Loan Matters sorted out...
Next will be on friends... I'm happy for Marcus and Bangli for finally getting together... and also to Albert and Angel for the same reasons... but that will mean that the circle of friendship will mutate into a different matter altogether. Marcus is finally out of the "F-4", and with Wilson soon to follow... only Jinrong and me are left...
To be really honest, the outing last Saturday showed that the close knitted-ness in this circle of friends is starting to fade... Jinrong and I actually wanted to go dbl O on our own, but we made a U-turn last minute and joined them there... At the club, I hardly got chances to be hanging around them... 1 was awkwardness, the other being that I suddenly felt distant... so Jinrong and I hung around at the dancefloor babe-watching... A few pretty sights though, the most notable being 1 of the gals at the club pulled down her Jeans to reveal her entire butt and her white G-string to her watching male friends... As I was close to them, I saw everything... I guess Jolin and Jinrong saw it too... Well... there were also chances of Jinrong and me picking up some gals as there were a few gals looking at our direction frequently and trying to dance closer to us... but yea, we gave them a miss... Apparently Jolin was not in the best of moods too because of BGR problems... well, tried to cheer her and Jinrong up too...
The nite ended with a trip to Mt. Elizabeth Hospital as Angel had an asthma attack... fortunately, she was able to be discharged shortly... God bless... and after that, Jinrong and I went home...
Monday was school day again, but I decided to play a little truant and went to Jurong Point for my IDAS dosages.... going to school after that for lessons... which brings me to my IDAS side of life...
F.R.E.E's upcoming games are not going to be the least easy... and with the holidays, means we can expect a heavy schedule... but I suppose I'm ready for them... and after these avalanche of games, I'll step down as their Chief Coordinator and return to studies full time... My gaming profile is getting a bit unnerving, as I am a watched man in TPY Zone-X... and even in Jurong Point, I also have difficulty picking up challengers... Maybe it's not good to be a high profile player after all... It's getting boring...
Back to my inner self feelings... just feeling empty... as usual... lonely and aimless... but I asked for it didn't I? I swore by not getting involved romantically... but the other side of me seems to suggest otherwise... I intend to stick by my words and not "leave Jinrong behind.." I also promised myself to steer clear of flings or actions that can possibly send the wrong signals to gals... but can I differentiate whether I truly like the gal or whether it's just a crush?? This remains a question ba... I have met a few gals that I think and feel that are "more to what I am looking for...", but self-esteem and my stubbornness ruled in the end...
Either way, I'm sure you guys are guessing why I decided to name this entry as such... because of my life... best described by puddles of water... a mess... and even a minor drop or a gentle blow of the wind can aggravate this problem...
Enough said... I'm damn affected now... Logging off...
- Phil -
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home